Holden Voices: Blog

Poems, stories, and reflections, written by faculty, staff, and volunteers currently serving in the Village.


May 29, 2020 at 12:00 PM


Day 75

My name is Tony. Your resident chalet spider. I thought I’d write in today to tell yas what it’s like down here in the shower drains, and to apologize for givin’ you two-eyers such a fright. We’ve really been scarin’ one of ya and we, simply, don’t mean to! My crew and I was having a fly old time up here in Chalet 9… we were the kings of the webs, so to speak. And then, this big ole two-eyed gal marches on in. She spends a lot of time in the bathroom cleaning somethin’ funky looking on her hand. When we see her in there, we freeze our game of who can eat the most ants, and do our best to blend in. Although it’s kinda hard, ya see, ‘cause we are pretty hefty spiders, and this very large two-eyed hooman (it’s hard to say hooman when you don’t have lips) definitely spotted us!

She starts screaming and yelling and sayin’ some kind of prayer to the Blessed Mother, and then she turns on the water. We have special adaptations that allow us to create an air pocket around our exoskeleton and appear to be dead even when we are alive. It’s pretty nifty, lemme tell ya. But, this stupid two-eyer thought we were actually dead!

I felt pretty bad about the whole thing. When the crew and I did prayer around the cicada later that night, her scared two eyes kept hauntin’ me. I decided to pay her a visit in her bed to apologize. I thought, ya know, I could enter that vulnerable space with her and really be present to her in her suffering. That was not the move. I went ker-splat on the wall, and now here I am up in spider heaven wishin’ things had happened differently. So please hear this all you twoeyed hoomans: we don’t wanna eat ya! The next time you see a spider try to see the world from our perspective (although it might be hard with your limited number of eyes).

He Who is Resting in Pieces,
Tony (the not-so itsy bitsy spider)

Marissa Ilnitzki is Food Services Lead at Holden Village. This column was originally published on May 29, 2020 in a daily newsletter, "The Quarantine Quarter," which is compiled by various staff members and sent to all Villagers.