Holden Voices: Blog

Poems, stories, and reflections, written by faculty, staff, and volunteers currently serving in the Village.

BECCA CARCATERRA: I’ve got the vocation blues

May 05, 2020 at 12:00 PM


Day 51

I have found that most worries come in waves. I am currently riding the crest of a wave that has been peaking and falling since I was about fifteen years old. Namely, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE?

I like so many things: working with people, working with systems, working with words. I dislike so many things: bureaucracy, financial instability, paper cuts.

How am I supposed to pick a career trajectory? Will I even have the option of choosing a trajectory after Amazon has taken over the world? I know we all are dealing with uncertainty about the future. And I know all we can do is sit tight and look at mountains instead of LinkedIn.

But I still want to take action: I want to have a clear way forward and a decisive plan. I’ll settle for the only clear ways forward around here: hiking trails. I’ll follow the path someone dug out for me, and trust that it’s leading to a lake or a waterfall or a single flower blooming in the middle of the road. I like the sense that there’s a way forward in the wilderness.

And if I lose the path? Well trail blazing is scary, painful, and disorienting, but it can lead to some pretty great views as well.

In peace,
Becca

Becca Carcaterra is Human Resources Assistant at Holden Village. This column was originally published on May 5, 2020 in a daily newsletter, "The Quarantine Quarter," which is compiled by various staff members and sent to all Villagers.